| My heart is all stirred up tonight. There are so many people I desperately missing having in my life. And so many questions I would like to have answered. And so much going on in my own mind. And life. Adventure. Security. Risk. I'm just all stirred up inside. Tonight at Bible study (one of my very favorite times of the week) we talked about relationships. Relationships. And there is so much I have to say about that, that I'm not sure where to start or how to say any of it. But the bottom line is that I think we have lost sight of one of the main keys to successful relationships by making them more about us - OUR satisfaction, OUR joy, OUR being safe and comfortable and unhurt, OUR wants, OUR needs - instead of loving people just because that is the example Christ set. We want what people can give us, but how often do we consider how we are respecting and honoring and serving and just loving them? Yeah, (some) relationships are give-and-take. But we are so caught up in making our relationships serve us, or at least keeping score to make sure they're even, that we completely miss the point. By taking risk out of relationship, we cheapen love. Real love, anyway. Jesus didn't measure it like that. His brand of Love cost him everything. But it was only through giving everything that he gained everything, too. His life. His people. His Love is shocking when I truly catch a glimpse of understanding. |
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| Days of life frame days of death. |
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| A feeling of missing something, deep enough that tears are uncapable of its expression. A depth of feeling only to be felt, fiercely felt. Perhaps a few tears come, before realizing they do nothing to distract or overshadow what is, presently, thought-occupying. A desire, deeper-seated in heart than previously known, to simply be part of that kind of love.
Scoffing at dreadful inability to capture true thought with any dignity or sense of truth.
Fiercely felt, still. With no more tears.
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| This book is really good. |
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| I am in Oklahoma. Lots of people can't figure that out. I don't that I have yet either. I am job-searching. Or at least trying. I'm not very good at it yet. I get really stressed out. And this weird feeling of dread comes upon me when people ask about it, (though almost always with good intentions and no judgment, which I appreciate! But sometimes I feel like they give me too much credit...) because I feel guilty and lazy and scared and lots of things that encourage dread. But I am trying to let go of that stuff, take things as they come, and handle situations and myself well. Responsibly. Ah! I have to remind myself that I'm an adult. Still. It's strange. Because I really don't always feel like an adult. But then, life is not always about feelings. Though I do tend to live through that lens. Enjoy your day, please. |
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